LOOKING AT LOVE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Love. You were created through love \u200band you were born wired to love. That is what makes the human experience worthwhile.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How to Combat Suffering<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u200bBuddhism was the first philosophy\/religion to appeal to me, despite being raised catholic. I was in high school when I purchased a copy of Herman Hesse\u2019s \u201cSiddhartha\u201d. Later, when the emotional upheaval of transitioning from high school to college overwhelmed me, my father suggested I read the writings of the Dalai Lama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Buddhism is such an honest and helpful philosophy: life is suffering, but there is a path to avoid suffering. Human suffering is universal. Recently, I was captivated by a fascinating article about a boy trying to sue his parents for being born. The young man claims that he never gave his consent to be born.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He compellingly explains his case. Life is suffering but death brings more suffering; why even be born. Even his parents, both lawyers in India, thought he brought up legitimate points. However, they also correctly note the impossibility of seeking a soul’s permission before conception. (See article below)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I imagined my future child asking me that question: \u201cwhy did you bring me into this world?\u201d. I know immediately what I would say. \u2018Love. You were created through love and you were born wired to love.\u2019 That is what makes the human experience worthwhile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u200bLove is Greek to Me<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course love comes in many forms and degrees. The Ancient Greeks believed there were 8 different forms of love. In defining them, they also wisely cautioned about a few of the types while encouraging others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u200bMuch of society is driven by the desires of the body. For this reason, sex and lust, flirting and romance, Eros and Ludus respectively, are the most prominent examples of love we see. We are bombarded with images and acclimated to the idea that these are the definitions of love. It\u2019s reinforced by the messages in music, movies, novels, and advertising. Ancient Greeks, however, advised that these two forms of love are tumultuously dangerous (along with \u201cMania\u201d, a jealous and possessive form of love).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The five remaining forms of love are more stable and fulfilling. The type of love I will have for my child will initially be \u201cStorge\u201d the love shared between family members. I also want to cultivate \u201cPhilia\u201d between my child and I; that is the affectionate form of love and loyalty usually shared between friends. In the long-term, it\u2019s only natural that we will try each other\u2019s patience at times, this is when love becomes effortful and requires understanding. This patient form of love is known as \u201cPragma\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The last two types of love I\u2019ll be explaining, encouraging, and demonstrating for my child. Self-compassion, self-love, or \u201cPhilautia\u201d as the Ancient Greeks named it, is not only a good practice but essential for giving and receiving the other forms of love. Unless you truly love and respect yourself, with compassion, you aren\u2019t fully able to love another. Self-love, therefore, is fundamentally the most important of the eight forms of love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The last is the most generous form of love. Like empathy, it should be taught and reinforced from a young age. \u201cAgape\u201d, or selfless love, is love as a service to others. It is love that you extend to people who haven\u2019t earned it or maybe don\u2019t necessarily deserve it. Agape is the spiritual form of love. It is given unconditionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n